TWO YEARS AND TWO BEERS
Monique Craig, EponaMind

Recent events—and my birthday—have made me reflect on a few things that have happened during my long and continuing journey in the horse world.One question keeps resurfacing: Why do certain people claim to have worked with me for “two full years” when their actual involvement—whether in hoof care or horse training—was quite minimal? Why two years? Does this number have some kind of cosmological significance? Since I couldn’t find a rational answer, I asked a friend what the “two-year” mark might symbolize. She suggested it’s often used to lend an illusion of credibility—at least initially. Over time, however, these same individuals often turn around and attempt to cancel me or depict me as ignorant. Social media, of course, is the perfect stage for such antics. As we continued discussing human nature and its quirks, my friend—an ex-police officer—had an epiphany about the mystical number two. She recalled how, when she pulled over inebriated drivers, these would almost always insist on responding with, “Officer, I had only two beers…”

It made us wonder: Are my former short-term trainees behaving like those drunk drivers? The comparison isn’t so far-fetched. After all, denial is a common defense mechanism—used to rationalize all kinds of questionable behavior, whether it’s driving under the influence or distorting one’s own sense of reality. And let’s face it, “reality” is often a fluid concept, shaped by individual beliefs, psychological traits, and personal experiences. Still, most of us are doing our best to find peace and happiness. So why do some feel compelled to publicly spin false or nasty tales? Their lack of empathy and self-awareness is astonishing. Does the need for self-aggrandizement—or a calculated strategy of victim-hood (drama gets clicks)—outweigh any sense of personal accountability? There’s no doubt that nastiness is on the rise. Social media popularity has become an addiction. For many, the number of likes feeds their hubris and narcissism. But this behavior doesn’t tell the whole story. Modern life presents unprecedented challenges—ecological, social, and financial. These pressures, especially economic stress, don’t exactly encourage people to play fair. And then came COVID. The pandemic years were traumatic for so many. Forced isolation left countless individuals battling anxiety and depression [1]. As social creatures, humans are not designed for prolonged isolation. Yet here we are—not only more physically secluded but emotionally detached as well. Could this emotional distancing explain the decline in empathy and kindness? I believe so. And, well, some people are just plain mean. Over the years, I’ve endured my fair share of gossip. How do I deal with people who refuse to stay in their lane? For the most part, I ignore them. My time and energy are far too valuable. That said, I do get upset occasionally—especially when I reflect on the personal sacrifices I’ve made over decades of physical labor, the toll on my body from over thirty years of shoeing, and the emotional weight of helping horses in need (see my blog on compassion fatigue [2]). I’ve been riding and training horses professionally for so long that I’ve lost count of the years. I’ve trained both riders and hoof care providers. And yes, it’s frustrating when individuals spout drama and lies online while claiming to love horses—bashing anything that doesn’t conform to their narrow worldview. It’s weird. And it’s nasty.

So, I’ve decided: I won’t engage with toxic, unscrupulous people. Instead, I’ll do something more fun and therapeutic: I will ‘T-shirt them’.

References
[1] Arnett, Jeffrey Jensen, and Mitra, Deeya, “COVID-19 and Americans’ Mental Health: A Persistent Crisis, Especially for Emerging Adults 18 to 29”, Journal of Adult Development, 2024/11/15
[2] Blog on Compassion Fatigue, https://www.eponamind.com/blog/compassion-fatigue-and-its-consequences/